A NOTE FROM A HEART BROKEN AFRICAN MAN
-a must read for the African women-
No sensible man can resist a woman who is beautiful and industrious. What made a man work for 7 years for the woman he loved and yet felt like he just worked for 7 days? *Value!* My man does not respect me... It is because you are not a value adding woman. Do you realize that Jacob did not pay Leah's bride price? It's like Leah was given to him as bonus because she had no value.
This was why Jacob had no respect for her and her children, hence he sent them as first entourage when he was going to meet his angry brother.
- If you force yourself on a man, he may never respect you.
- If he gets you cheaply, he will never respect you.
- If you are not adding value to his life, he will never respect you.
Even after marriage, Leah was begging and buying the attention of her own husband. Rachael was practically in control of Jacob. Rachael was a shepherd in the midst of her siblings, a profession meant for men. She was in control of her father's business. This was what glued Jacob to her. No sensible man can resist a woman who is beautiful and industrious.
Be a value adding woman and your man will respect you. Gen 29:9 *Jacob was still talking with them when Rachel arrived with her father’s flock, for she was a shepherdess.*
How can boys be in the house and a girl (last daughter of the house) be the one to tend her father's flock and family business? Industrious nature! After Jacob slept with Leah, he still went for Rachael. Sex doesn't keep a man, value does. As a matter of fact, women have emotional attachment to sex, men don't. A man sleeps with you does not mean he loves you. He will give you gifts to compensate you. Leah had 5 children, Rachael had none, yet Jacob still loved Rachael more than Leah. *Having children is good but adding value is better.* Don't ever think you can pin a man down with children. If you like give him a nation, if you are not adding value to his life, he will walk away someday.
I'm pleading with our parents not to raise their daughters in a way they will become liabilities to their husbands. Make your daughter a "shepherdess" before her Jacob arrives. Give her a source of livelihood before marriage. If you want her husband to respect you as In-law and value her as a quality wife and real life partner, give her quality character with home training, quality and respectful hand work and education, to ensure a hopeful future for her in her future home. Don't train her merely because of the bride price you want to collect on her. Laban wasted the bride price he took for his daughter. But he lived on the flock kept by his daughter, even after she was married out.
This is why many men fall for their ugly hardworking housemaids than their beautiful house wives. We indirectly train our housemaids to be industrious while we train our daughters to be lazy and dependent. Future will tell...
Be a *value adding woman* and your man will respect you. Proverbs 31vs10-31.
-a must read for the African women-
No sensible man can resist a woman who is beautiful and industrious. What made a man work for 7 years for the woman he loved and yet felt like he just worked for 7 days? *Value!* My man does not respect me... It is because you are not a value adding woman. Do you realize that Jacob did not pay Leah's bride price? It's like Leah was given to him as bonus because she had no value.
This was why Jacob had no respect for her and her children, hence he sent them as first entourage when he was going to meet his angry brother.
- If you force yourself on a man, he may never respect you.
- If he gets you cheaply, he will never respect you.
- If you are not adding value to his life, he will never respect you.
Even after marriage, Leah was begging and buying the attention of her own husband. Rachael was practically in control of Jacob. Rachael was a shepherd in the midst of her siblings, a profession meant for men. She was in control of her father's business. This was what glued Jacob to her. No sensible man can resist a woman who is beautiful and industrious.
Be a value adding woman and your man will respect you. Gen 29:9 *Jacob was still talking with them when Rachel arrived with her father’s flock, for she was a shepherdess.*
How can boys be in the house and a girl (last daughter of the house) be the one to tend her father's flock and family business? Industrious nature! After Jacob slept with Leah, he still went for Rachael. Sex doesn't keep a man, value does. As a matter of fact, women have emotional attachment to sex, men don't. A man sleeps with you does not mean he loves you. He will give you gifts to compensate you. Leah had 5 children, Rachael had none, yet Jacob still loved Rachael more than Leah. *Having children is good but adding value is better.* Don't ever think you can pin a man down with children. If you like give him a nation, if you are not adding value to his life, he will walk away someday.
I'm pleading with our parents not to raise their daughters in a way they will become liabilities to their husbands. Make your daughter a "shepherdess" before her Jacob arrives. Give her a source of livelihood before marriage. If you want her husband to respect you as In-law and value her as a quality wife and real life partner, give her quality character with home training, quality and respectful hand work and education, to ensure a hopeful future for her in her future home. Don't train her merely because of the bride price you want to collect on her. Laban wasted the bride price he took for his daughter. But he lived on the flock kept by his daughter, even after she was married out.
This is why many men fall for their ugly hardworking housemaids than their beautiful house wives. We indirectly train our housemaids to be industrious while we train our daughters to be lazy and dependent. Future will tell...
Be a *value adding woman* and your man will respect you. Proverbs 31vs10-31.
