The grass wey dey shine no mean say e dey sweet. Marriage is the greatest eye opener. It's sweet, bitter and shocking like transformer wire.
Sometimes, the closest people to you na the ones wey shock you pass. Marriage na where your eyes go finally open, whether to light or to tears. One thing remains true: the grass wey dey shine outside no mean say e sweet when you finally touch am.
Dem say, he who keeps looking outside destroys himself but whoever holds on to what he has does not fear the darkness.
I learnt this truth from my friend Ujunwa’s story, a story that taught me that marriage is the greatest eye opener, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, sometimes shocking like a transformer wire.
Ujunwa, a soft-spoken woman, loved her husband with her whole being. She loved like only few women do, pure, loyal, deep and sacrificial. She was the type of wife people prayed for in silent nights. The kind some men don’t even deserve.
Like life always shows us, you don’t truly know a person until you get close enough for their truth to stain your skin.
Her husband was the smiling, gentle, charming man outside, the type that flashes teeth and you’ll think heaven mistakenly dropped him on earth but inside the house?
Hmmm.
Na there the real character dey live.
It started one random evening, no warning, no sign just one baseless accusation that feels like a joke but he was very serious:
“Ujunwa, who is that man calling you? Are you cheating on me?”
Ujunwa froze.
She had never touched or known any man except her husband. Her heart was clean. Her conscience is clear.
Unknown to her, the man pointing fingers was the same man chasing everything in a skirt, wrapper, jeans, Ankara and leggings.
Yes, the same man accusing her was the same man doing the sin.
Isn’t that how guilty people behave?
They throw their guilt on you like dirty laundry.
One day, in a moment of madness and foolish ego, he brought one of his side chicks home a lady he foolishly believed was “better.”
A lady he thought was “perfect.”
A lady he thought would give him “peace.”
My sister…
Side chicks always look perfect because they are outside.
Remove them from the shadows, bring them into the room, give them responsibilities, you will see shege promax.
This one?
Hmmmm.
She was laziness in human form.
She couldn’t cook.
She couldn’t clean.
She woke up when she liked.
She refused to take care of his children and said boldly:
“I am not their mother. I am not their nanny. Send them to the village.”
Imagine.
The man, yes, the same man who once opened mouth like a lion to accuse an innocent woman, started doing EVERYTHING in the house.
Cooking.
Washing.
Cleaning.
Caring for the kids.
Running around like house help employed by embarrassment.
Instead of gratitude from the new wife, what did he get?
NAGGING.
INSULTS.
DISRESPECT.
FRUSTRATION.
She nagged him until his head almost fell from his neck.
She pushed him emotionally until he looked older than his age.
She drained him like generator wey dem no dey service.
Ujunwa watched from afar, not with joy but with the calmness of a woman who has seen the consequences of a man’s foolish choices.
He wanted fire in his marriage?
Life gave him inferno.
He wanted excitement?
Life gave him boiled regret.
Shame…
Oh shame…
Shame will never allow him to say the truth:
“I chased away the angel God gave me for a demon I dressed by myself, thinking she was a lamb.”
He carried the punishment he carved with his own hands.
From the frying pan- to fire and he was burning day and night.
Guess what?
Even after seeing all this, even after tasting bitterness with his own tongue, even after realizing he destroyed a good woman with unconfirmed lies.
He couldn't open his mouth to apologize.
Pride and shame tied his tongue.
Life has a way of teaching lessons without words.
One afternoon, he tried reaching out to Ujunwa, trying to form a small connection.
She told him calmly:
“I can co-parent with you for the sake of our children but go back as husband and wife? Never again. I cannot return to a place where I was disgraced, accused and betrayed.”
An igbo adage says that:
“Isi kotara ebu ka ebu na agba”(It is the head that disturbs the wasp that the wasp sting).
Her voice was calm.
Firm.
Done.
Sometimes, a woman’s silence is not weakness, it's healing.
Her distance is not hatred, it is wisdom.
Not every smiling person outside is good to live with.
Marriage will open your eyes, whether to regret or gratitude.
Some men don’t deserve good women because they misuse grace.
The grass is not greener on the other side; it is greener where you water it.
A good woman comes once in a lifetime, values her.
When life gives you a second chance, use it wisely.
When a woman loves, she loves completely; when she is done, she is DONE.
Regret is louder in the night when the house is quiet and your mistakes are shouting.
Proverbs 5:15
“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.”
Meaning: Value your own, guard your home, cherish your spouse.
Where a person falls is where his God judges him.
If he falls where he is disrespected it becomes his blessings.
MORALS
Be content with what you have.
Treasure the good people God places in your life.
Do not destroy gold because brass is shining.
The grass that looks greener outside may be growing on a septic tank.
Value loyalty.
Value kindness.
Value a good woman.
Before you lose what you can never replace.
©️ Elizabeth Akudo All Rights Reserved
Follow@Elizabeth Akudo for more real-life stories wey dey touch heart
Sometimes, the closest people to you na the ones wey shock you pass. Marriage na where your eyes go finally open, whether to light or to tears. One thing remains true: the grass wey dey shine outside no mean say e sweet when you finally touch am.
Dem say, he who keeps looking outside destroys himself but whoever holds on to what he has does not fear the darkness.
I learnt this truth from my friend Ujunwa’s story, a story that taught me that marriage is the greatest eye opener, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, sometimes shocking like a transformer wire.
Ujunwa, a soft-spoken woman, loved her husband with her whole being. She loved like only few women do, pure, loyal, deep and sacrificial. She was the type of wife people prayed for in silent nights. The kind some men don’t even deserve.
Like life always shows us, you don’t truly know a person until you get close enough for their truth to stain your skin.
Her husband was the smiling, gentle, charming man outside, the type that flashes teeth and you’ll think heaven mistakenly dropped him on earth but inside the house?
Hmmm.
Na there the real character dey live.
It started one random evening, no warning, no sign just one baseless accusation that feels like a joke but he was very serious:
“Ujunwa, who is that man calling you? Are you cheating on me?”
Ujunwa froze.
She had never touched or known any man except her husband. Her heart was clean. Her conscience is clear.
Unknown to her, the man pointing fingers was the same man chasing everything in a skirt, wrapper, jeans, Ankara and leggings.
Yes, the same man accusing her was the same man doing the sin.
Isn’t that how guilty people behave?
They throw their guilt on you like dirty laundry.
One day, in a moment of madness and foolish ego, he brought one of his side chicks home a lady he foolishly believed was “better.”
A lady he thought was “perfect.”
A lady he thought would give him “peace.”
My sister…
Side chicks always look perfect because they are outside.
Remove them from the shadows, bring them into the room, give them responsibilities, you will see shege promax.
This one?
Hmmmm.
She was laziness in human form.
She couldn’t cook.
She couldn’t clean.
She woke up when she liked.
She refused to take care of his children and said boldly:
“I am not their mother. I am not their nanny. Send them to the village.”
Imagine.
The man, yes, the same man who once opened mouth like a lion to accuse an innocent woman, started doing EVERYTHING in the house.
Cooking.
Washing.
Cleaning.
Caring for the kids.
Running around like house help employed by embarrassment.
Instead of gratitude from the new wife, what did he get?
NAGGING.
INSULTS.
DISRESPECT.
FRUSTRATION.
She nagged him until his head almost fell from his neck.
She pushed him emotionally until he looked older than his age.
She drained him like generator wey dem no dey service.
Ujunwa watched from afar, not with joy but with the calmness of a woman who has seen the consequences of a man’s foolish choices.
He wanted fire in his marriage?
Life gave him inferno.
He wanted excitement?
Life gave him boiled regret.
Shame…
Oh shame…
Shame will never allow him to say the truth:
“I chased away the angel God gave me for a demon I dressed by myself, thinking she was a lamb.”
He carried the punishment he carved with his own hands.
From the frying pan- to fire and he was burning day and night.
Guess what?
Even after seeing all this, even after tasting bitterness with his own tongue, even after realizing he destroyed a good woman with unconfirmed lies.
He couldn't open his mouth to apologize.
Pride and shame tied his tongue.
Life has a way of teaching lessons without words.
One afternoon, he tried reaching out to Ujunwa, trying to form a small connection.
She told him calmly:
“I can co-parent with you for the sake of our children but go back as husband and wife? Never again. I cannot return to a place where I was disgraced, accused and betrayed.”
An igbo adage says that:
“Isi kotara ebu ka ebu na agba”(It is the head that disturbs the wasp that the wasp sting).
Her voice was calm.
Firm.
Done.
Sometimes, a woman’s silence is not weakness, it's healing.
Her distance is not hatred, it is wisdom.
Not every smiling person outside is good to live with.
Marriage will open your eyes, whether to regret or gratitude.
Some men don’t deserve good women because they misuse grace.
The grass is not greener on the other side; it is greener where you water it.
A good woman comes once in a lifetime, values her.
When life gives you a second chance, use it wisely.
When a woman loves, she loves completely; when she is done, she is DONE.
Regret is louder in the night when the house is quiet and your mistakes are shouting.
Proverbs 5:15
“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.”
Meaning: Value your own, guard your home, cherish your spouse.
Where a person falls is where his God judges him.
If he falls where he is disrespected it becomes his blessings.
MORALS
Be content with what you have.
Treasure the good people God places in your life.
Do not destroy gold because brass is shining.
The grass that looks greener outside may be growing on a septic tank.
Value loyalty.
Value kindness.
Value a good woman.
Before you lose what you can never replace.
©️ Elizabeth Akudo All Rights Reserved
Follow@Elizabeth Akudo for more real-life stories wey dey touch heart
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