No invite, no show - stop forcing yourself into people’s celebrations. If they wanted you there, you would be there.
Sometimes, the silence of the people you love is the loudest invitation to find your own worth.
Let me tell you a story… My own story… the one life used as sandpaper to smooth my senses.
Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons you didn’t register for.
Some come gently… others slap you like NEPA wire.
This one?
It slapped me with two hands.
It all started on a random afternoon when someone walked up to me and said:
“Are you coming for your friend’s wedding?”
I laughed at first because I thought it was a joke.
I said, “As how nah? Bride wey no even send my papa, na wetin I wan go do there?”
I thought maybe they were teasing me.
Until they mentioned the date.
The same date my “friend” had been planning for months.
The same wedding she never breathed a word about.
The same ceremony where my name was not even whispered.
Just like that…
I realized I wasn’t counted.
Not in the planning.
Not in the preparation.
Not in joy.
Not even in the crowd.
They gathered people for marriage.
They gathered food.
They gathered joy but they did not gather me.
You know what?
I didn’t go.
I refused to go.
Not out of wickedness but out of self-respect.
A wedding I didn’t know about is not a wedding I should attend.
An igbo adage says:
“Uto ka mma na ote aka.”(Friendship is sweeter when friends live apart).
If they did not call you to the gathering, you are not part of the gathering.
Months after the wedding drama, I woke up to see myself added to a WhatsApp group.
Baby shower.
Guess who added me?
Yes.
The same person whose wedding I found out about through road gossip.
I just looked at my phone and shook my head.
It was at that moment I confirmed:
People know what they are doing.
People know who to exclude AND who to include when it benefits them.
As in…
You no remember me for wedding,
but you remember me when it is time for a baby shower?
To do what exactly?
To bring a gift?
To buy a diaper?
To clap?
To shout “aww”?
Abeg, sense dey there.
My spirit just whispered:
“The same energy they give you, give them back. Life no pass like that.”
Standing there, holding my phone, I made a decision:
Not invited? I will not go.
Not told? I will not ask.
Late invite? I decline with peace.
It became my personal law.
My boundary.
My peace-keeping constitution.
Since that day, I realized:
People only behave how you allow them to.
If you make yourself cheap, they will price you anyhow.
If you make yourself available for disrespect, they will package you with it.
So I told myself:
“I can never show up to where I am not valued.”
Honestly, I hardly even have time to attend the ones I’m invited for…
Is it the one I was NOT invited for that I will now go to?
God forbid bad thing.
The pain wasn’t the event.
It wasn’t the wedding.
It wasn’t even the baby shower.
The pain was realizing I rated someone who didn’t rate me.
It was realizing I considered someone a sister while they considered me an option.
That is life.
People will show you how they see you -
in silence,
in omission,
in exclusion.
Thank God for wisdom.
Better late than never.
Invitations are not mere paper - they are signs of respect. Where they value you, they INFORM you.
Stop forcing yourself into people’s celebrations. If they wanted you there, you would be there.
Your absence will never spoil any event. Your presence will never repair any relationship that doesn’t value you.
Protect your dignity. Love people, but respect yourself too.
Mutual energy saves heartbreak. What they give you, return it in peace. No quarrel.
“Let everything be done decently and in order.” – 1 Corinthians 14:40
If they didn’t invite you,
it is not decent,
and it is not in order
for you to go.
Sometimes God uses exclusion to reposition you.
Sometimes rejection is redirection.
Sometimes not being invited is part of your elevation.
Some tables are too small for the greatness you carry.
Don’t cry when they don’t invite you.
Smile.
God is preparing a bigger place where YOU will be the one sending invites.
Where you are not invited, don’t kill yourself to go.
If this message touched you, share it.
Teach someone self-worth.
Teach someone boundaries.
Teach someone that respect is reciprocal.
MORALS
Don’t force yourself where you’re not valued.
Don’t beg for space in people’s lives.
Don’t show up in places where your presence was never desired.
Respect is a two-way street.
Your peace is priceless - protect it.
Invitation is not about events… It is about regard.
If they don’t invite you, don’t go.
If they don’t tell you, don’t ask.
If they remember you late, politely decline.
Your worth is not determined by the occasions you attend
but by the respect you command.
© Elizabeth Akudo 2025 All Rights Reserved #NoInviteNoShow #KnowYourWorth #RespectIsReciprocal #Boundaries #LifeLessons #NigerianStory #AkudoWrites
Follow @Elizabeth Akudo for more powerful life truths.
Sometimes, the silence of the people you love is the loudest invitation to find your own worth.
Let me tell you a story… My own story… the one life used as sandpaper to smooth my senses.
Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons you didn’t register for.
Some come gently… others slap you like NEPA wire.
This one?
It slapped me with two hands.
It all started on a random afternoon when someone walked up to me and said:
“Are you coming for your friend’s wedding?”
I laughed at first because I thought it was a joke.
I said, “As how nah? Bride wey no even send my papa, na wetin I wan go do there?”
I thought maybe they were teasing me.
Until they mentioned the date.
The same date my “friend” had been planning for months.
The same wedding she never breathed a word about.
The same ceremony where my name was not even whispered.
Just like that…
I realized I wasn’t counted.
Not in the planning.
Not in the preparation.
Not in joy.
Not even in the crowd.
They gathered people for marriage.
They gathered food.
They gathered joy but they did not gather me.
You know what?
I didn’t go.
I refused to go.
Not out of wickedness but out of self-respect.
A wedding I didn’t know about is not a wedding I should attend.
An igbo adage says:
“Uto ka mma na ote aka.”(Friendship is sweeter when friends live apart).
If they did not call you to the gathering, you are not part of the gathering.
Months after the wedding drama, I woke up to see myself added to a WhatsApp group.
Baby shower.
Guess who added me?
Yes.
The same person whose wedding I found out about through road gossip.
I just looked at my phone and shook my head.
It was at that moment I confirmed:
People know what they are doing.
People know who to exclude AND who to include when it benefits them.
As in…
You no remember me for wedding,
but you remember me when it is time for a baby shower?
To do what exactly?
To bring a gift?
To buy a diaper?
To clap?
To shout “aww”?
Abeg, sense dey there.
My spirit just whispered:
“The same energy they give you, give them back. Life no pass like that.”
Standing there, holding my phone, I made a decision:
Not invited? I will not go.
Not told? I will not ask.
Late invite? I decline with peace.
It became my personal law.
My boundary.
My peace-keeping constitution.
Since that day, I realized:
People only behave how you allow them to.
If you make yourself cheap, they will price you anyhow.
If you make yourself available for disrespect, they will package you with it.
So I told myself:
“I can never show up to where I am not valued.”
Honestly, I hardly even have time to attend the ones I’m invited for…
Is it the one I was NOT invited for that I will now go to?
God forbid bad thing.
The pain wasn’t the event.
It wasn’t the wedding.
It wasn’t even the baby shower.
The pain was realizing I rated someone who didn’t rate me.
It was realizing I considered someone a sister while they considered me an option.
That is life.
People will show you how they see you -
in silence,
in omission,
in exclusion.
Thank God for wisdom.
Better late than never.
Invitations are not mere paper - they are signs of respect. Where they value you, they INFORM you.
Stop forcing yourself into people’s celebrations. If they wanted you there, you would be there.
Your absence will never spoil any event. Your presence will never repair any relationship that doesn’t value you.
Protect your dignity. Love people, but respect yourself too.
Mutual energy saves heartbreak. What they give you, return it in peace. No quarrel.
“Let everything be done decently and in order.” – 1 Corinthians 14:40
If they didn’t invite you,
it is not decent,
and it is not in order
for you to go.
Sometimes God uses exclusion to reposition you.
Sometimes rejection is redirection.
Sometimes not being invited is part of your elevation.
Some tables are too small for the greatness you carry.
Don’t cry when they don’t invite you.
Smile.
God is preparing a bigger place where YOU will be the one sending invites.
Where you are not invited, don’t kill yourself to go.
If this message touched you, share it.
Teach someone self-worth.
Teach someone boundaries.
Teach someone that respect is reciprocal.
MORALS
Don’t force yourself where you’re not valued.
Don’t beg for space in people’s lives.
Don’t show up in places where your presence was never desired.
Respect is a two-way street.
Your peace is priceless - protect it.
Invitation is not about events… It is about regard.
If they don’t invite you, don’t go.
If they don’t tell you, don’t ask.
If they remember you late, politely decline.
Your worth is not determined by the occasions you attend
but by the respect you command.
© Elizabeth Akudo 2025 All Rights Reserved #NoInviteNoShow #KnowYourWorth #RespectIsReciprocal #Boundaries #LifeLessons #NigerianStory #AkudoWrites
Follow @Elizabeth Akudo for more powerful life truths.
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